As I have worked with and studied organizations of all sizes, and also mentored people in organizations of various types and sizes, one of the things that I always like to asses is the environment. Sometimes, I’ll find an employee who is frustrated. They can’t seem to catch a break. They think that they are capable of performing, but, for some reason, things just never go their way. Meanwhile, their “peers” seem to get the breaks. They get the accolades from the boss. They get the best evaluations. They get the bonuses, the pay raises, the awards and, of course, ultimately, they get the big promotion. This can happen in small corporations and even in big corporations, despite all their well-intended processes and procedures try to assure equity within the workforce. I will address “Favoritism” in a separate article, because that is a longer discussion.

Here, I just want to observe that there is a spectrum of work environments that includes more than just a supportive environment and an environment of non-support. In fact, in my experience I have observed people working in environments of negative support, or what we could call anti-support, where the boss and others are actively throwing unnecessary obstacles in a junior leader’s path. We’ll discuss this more, shortly. If we are going to discuss the extreme negative, then I think it is also important to discuss the extreme positive, what we have observed, or what the ideal work environment would be that we could envision. This is an environment that goes way beyond our expectations of what we might call a supportive environment. For our discussion, I’ll just call this an environment of super-support. I am certain that there are a handful of rare organizations, who might exemplify some of the ideals of a super-supportive work environment. Over the years, I have heard of just a few. I won’t rehash their cultures, because I would rather focus on the ideal attributes that we might want to see in a Super-Supportive Work Environment, and I hope to hear from you.

So, let’s discuss briefly, what an Environment of Negative Support or Anti-Support may look like.

A couple of techniques that we utilize routinely at Pathfinders Foundation are Projection and Reflection. Projection is where we anticipate things that we may be likely to be confronted with in the future and mentally rehearse for them, so we are prepared, ahead of time, for how we will react. We actually do this fairly regularly in life, but maybe we were less aware of exactly what we were doing. For example, we teach a new driver what you do when you are in a automobile accident. We are projecting them into that scenario, or a number of possible scenarios, so they are prepared. They need to know to give aid, if necessary, contact the police, whether to move the vehicles off the road, to share insurance and contact information and the like.

However, let’s take this same scenario, the automobile accident, or vender bender. Have you already rehearsed how you are going to react when your child has an accident. Maybe they hit another car on the roadway, bumped another vehicle in a parking lot or scraped their, or your car, down the the crape large crepe myrtle while trying to back into your driveway, leaving a long dent and scratch down the side of your truck. How are you going to react?

First, in no way is this article intended to excuse misconduct of a child, especially reckless and dangerous behavior, which can endanger lives. That falls under a whole different category. Hopefully, you are not having to contend with a teen who is engaging in those kinds of behaviors. Perhaps, some of what I am expressing herein ”may” still apply.

I do think it is important for us, as parents, to anticipate, and decide, ahead of time, how we are going to react, before we even hand over the keys. And, I have a general, overarching principle, that I apply, that has helped me, in these circumstances. Keep in mind, I am only using the auto fender bender as an example. You can use this same principle over and over again, whether it is the repeated spilled bowl of cereal, or something more substantial.

However, back to our example of the fender bender. I have a truck that my family knows that I love very much. I have had this truck for 15 years. I have a lot of memories in this truck. It has safely carried my family on many trips up and down the interstate. I have been run off the road at nearly 80 miles an hour, and it handled just fine. As I white knuckled the steering wheel, trying to carefully slow down and not over control the vehicle, and hoping not to hit anything or a deep hole, my two young sons were in the back seat, laughing, “Daddy, stop goofing around.” Despite these kinds of incidenceS, I have 375,000 miles on her, and without a single fender bender of my own, though I have had close calls. But, when my sons reached an age where I was going to hand them the keys, I already knew that one day, I was likely going to be discussing a fender bender with them. And, I already knew exactly what I was going to say. I obviously hoped it was not going to be a catastrophic accident, and, fortunately, it wasn’t. My son, in fact, did back into the driveway, while the big crepe myrtle gouged a nice dent down the side, of my much-loved Honda Ridgeline, the oldest one in the state of Alabama. When he told me, I was actually a bit excited, because I had waited so long to share my words with him. I said, “Son, you know how much I love that truck, but I love you infinitely more than I could ever love that truck.” Now, the dent in the truck is not a reminder of a bad thing that happened, but a reminder of something good, a building moment, a growing moment, a moment when a son had to face the trepidation of telling how he damaged the family vehicle, and a moment in which I got to be a good example (I hope) for how to respond to these kinds of little spills in life.

I am sorry to admit that perhaps my favorite thing about watching reality TV is psycho-analyzing the characters. Who’s with me? Yeah, not many of you are willing to join me in that admission, but I bet you are out there.

I was committed to not watching Tiger King, because it was so hyped up by everybody talking about it on social media. I am stubborn that way. Then, one night I walked into my bedroom, and my wife had just turned it on. All I heard was this line, “Monkey people are crazy, but big cat people will stab each other in the back.” I didn’t even know what program was on in which someone strung that sentence together, but, as I mentioned, as a person who likes to psycho-analyze the characters, I was hooked by that one sentence. When I was in the Army, I met the father of one of the Army wives in our flight school class, and he actually worked with chimpanzees and apes. He was missing an ear, and from some of the stories that he had shared, I had a sense that the cute chimpanzees we like to think about them as in the zoo are often anything but. So, when I heard that first part of the sentence, “monkey people”, I had a 30 year flash-back, which only added to my curiosity. So, there I was with one sentence committed to watch a program I had sworn that I would not watch.

The most salient feature that I found about Joe Exotic, the now-infamous main character, is that watching him is like getting a completing unfiltered look inside the mind of a human being. However he feels, whatever his impulses are, we are going to get to hear about it with almost no filter. So, on the one hand, Joe Exotic is wildly different than almost anyone else in the country. On the other hand, he is surprisingly similar to many, his primary differences only being his lack of a filter and his lack of impulse control.

Because he lacks these things, we get a chance to peer into true root human impulses and cravings. At one point in the program, Joe Exotic utters something that many other people act upon, but they would suppress ever uttering out loud. I forget exactly in the show he says this, and I may get the exact phraseology wrong, but he shouts something to the effect, “I will die a hero!”

Joe is not the first person to want to be a hero. He just uttered it out loud. Over the years I have referred to this as having a “Hero Complex” or having a “Craving for Adoration”. Many of us, and maybe all of us, at some level want to be a hero, or have a craving for adoration. Certainly, celebrities appear to have a degree of comfort with their craving for adoration, and it serves as a source of motivation for them to achieve the celebrity status in their careers, whether that be in entertainment, sports, politics or some other area.

Like most things, the “Hero Complex” or “Craving for Adoration” is only a problem when it is dysfunctional or out of balance. Joe Exotic is an extreme example of that. However, there are people in all walks of life who may struggle in this area, and often they are unaware of it. They may just feel a sense of angst about them, because they feel a need for adoration that is not being met. Joe Exotic’s approach can actually be therapeutic. If you just utter the words, “I am going to be a hero” then, perhaps, most rational, reasonable people will begin to realize how detached from reality and immature those aspirations may be.

What follows is a quote from the writing of missionary, Helen Roseveare. Yes, even missionaries, the seemingly most sacrificial among us, are not immune to these desires. “You no longer want Jesus only, but Jesus plus . . . plus respect, popularity, public opinion, success and pride. You wanted to go out with all the trumpets blaring, from a farewell-do that you organized for yourself with photographs and tape-recordings to show and play at home, just to reveal what you had achieved. You wanted to feel needed and respected. You wanted the other missionaries to be worried about how they’ll ever carry on after you’ve gone. You’d like letters when you go home to tell how much they realize they owe to you, how much they miss you. All this and more. Jesus plus. . . . No, you can’t have it. Either it must be “Jesus only” or you’ll find you have no Jesus. You’ll substitute Helen Roseveare.”

Helen was seeking God in perfectly selfless service, certainly a high aspiration. That was her calling. I am not suggesting that we all have to follow exactly in Helen’s footsteps. However, as we look upward toward heaven and outward toward others, rather than inward at our own desires, and, in fact, begin to strip away our selfish motives in favor of service to others, therein, we will also shed the craving for personal adoration, along with the angst that goes with it.

Long before there was a Covid-19 Pandemic, there has been an ongoing Epidemic of Anxiety. Many teachers and parents are keenly aware that it has been ongoing for many years, and is primarily driven by not just the Internet, but the ubiquitous and universal access to it that our children have, via smart phones and other connected devices. Of course, it is not just the Internet itself that causes the issue, but how we, the human beings, use it. And, this is not just a condition that affects only our children. Adults are influenced and affected by these same forces.

Then, along came the Pandemic, and we all had to stay home. Not only did we get “a reason” but many new reasons to feel anxious. And, one important remedy for our anxiety was taken away, our ability to take action, perhaps not our entire ability to take action, but certainly our traditional spectrum of action was substantially narrowed down. If you lost your job, for example, almost no one was interviewing for hiring. Corporate executives even reported feeling frozen, while they waited to see what was going to happen. I think we all felt a sense of being frozen. For many, and for good reasons, that created a great amount of anxiety for them.

Anxiety is not limited to children growing up with the Internet, nor people experiencing adversity. It can also affect people in their jobs. A new salesman, for example, will feel a sense of anxiety. He or she does not know his products as well as they will months or years down the road. They don’t know all the objections that they may face, nor how they will respond to those objections. And, they don’t want to look like they are a rookie, nor look like they are not as competent as they will be, as they gain more experience. So, they get anxious. They may be slow to pick up the phone and make those sales calls. They may book fewer appointments, as a result.

When we face anxiety, we often have a thousand things racing through our minds. Maybe a child has gotten behind in school. The list of missed assignments is so long, they can’t keep track of them all. Their head is spinning, and they may even be defiant, in denial or in tears. The person who lost their job in the Pandemic may experience similar feelings. The new salesperson may feel similarly.

I have found that when facing anxiety, focus is very important. So, I focus on the phrase, “Action Defeats Anxiety”. If your child has gotten behind in school, neither your words nor theirs is going to fix the situation. You cannot brow-beat them into performance. They cannot talk their way into performance. Nothing they tell you or their teachers is going to fix that situation. Only their action. So, focus on key milestone issues (Illustrative):

1. Tonight – Get a Good Night’s Sleep (Put Away Phone by 8-9PM)
2. Starting Tomorrow Morning: Get Out of the Bedroom for School Work and Clear the Dining Table or a Clean, Separate Space for School Work
3. Focus on Just a Couple of Assignments They Can Make Up Each Day – Don’t Overload

Likewise, for someone seeking a job, or a new salesman, focus on just a few simple steps. The most important thing that you must do is take action.

Now, in no way do I intend to minimize anxiety, and to suggest that if you just do this, all your anxiety problems will magically go away. Anxiety and anxiety disorders can require counseling and medication for some to help them contend with with anxiety when it begins to control their life and acts as a destructive force. I support mental health efforts in this respect. If you feel anxiety or depression, it will not hurt you one bit to seek the counsel and advice or a counselor or a psychiatrist. At least then, you will know. You will probably learn something. However, I believe that even if anxiety is having that great an effect on your life, I think it can be helpful for you and for the people around you to keep this phrase in mind, “Action Defeats Anxiety”. It is not a cure, but it can play a role in helping you focus in acute situations when your anxiety begins to get you off track.

Anytime I speak about adversity, I discuss in terms of how we relate to adversity. This includes both how we react to it, but also how we perceive any given adversity. The Pandemic has been a source of great adversity for many of us. For some who have lost loved ones, it has been and will always represent extreme adversity. For others, the Pandemic may only represent mild uncertainty. Perhaps, for some, it was even a fun time, not that most of us have not experienced some joy amidst the uncertainty and even tragedy. For all of us, it will serve as a model of adversity, much as total wars have done for older and past generations. So, it is important for us to mentor the younger generations about adversity, whereby this reference event can be of greatest benefit to their growing wisdom.

Often, when people talk about adversity, they will say, “All you can control is how you react to it.” That is somewhat true. However, even before we react to adversity, we perceive the adversity. It often interest me to hear two people discuss the same event, such as a trip or a work project. One person discussing a trip may say that everything went off without a hitch. We had such a great time. The other person describing the same trip may same, “For starters, John forgot to gas up the car, so we were late getting started right out of the gate. Then, when we got to the park, the lines were long. It was hot, and I had to go to the bathroom, which were all inside the park. I couldn’t go, until I finished going through the ticket line. Finally, got in. And, there were lines for everything. The sun was blazing and the lines were so backed up, we were without shade, until we got up close to our turn on each ride. I could not wait to get back in the car and for the whole trip to be over.” So, it is important to understand both how we perceive adversity, and how others may perceive adversity. Monitor our perception of adversity, and regulate our perception of adversity. Also, be understanding of other people’s perception of adversity. What may be almost imperceptible to you, may be a great adversity to someone else.

Then, of course, how do we react to the adversity?

I am dedicating this article to all primary school teachers (elementary, middle and high schools), with special recognition to my daughter’s junior high band director, Mr. Joshua Wine. I hope to include a picture of him with Christmas lights in his beard at a Band Camp, where he was one of the guest conductors/instructors. He adorned his beard ornaments at the urging of his students in front of perhaps a thousand strangers in the name of spirit, making it fun for our junior high band students. He exemplifies the subject of this article, and that helps make going to school fun and enjoyable for our junior high students. Many even look forward to getting up extra early each morning in order to participate in Jazz Band! Anyone who can get early teens to voluntarily get out of bed early, has a special gift, and we should all take notice.

Our teachers at all levels go to great lengths to make learning fun to tap into the natural spirit of children, teens and young adults. And, they should be commended for that. The reality, however, is that spirit is not just in the domain of children, teens and young adults. Spirit is an important part of people of all ages. Unfortunately, spirit begins to get suppressed a bit when we become adults, by responsibilities and, in some situations, by other adults. I pick on Southwest Airlines, sometimes, but one thing that Herb Kelleher, the founder of Southwest Airlines got right, was that he encouraged his employees to have and express their spirit. He hired people with spirit. They integrated that into their hiring procedures. And, expressing spirit is encouraged. To this day, it is not uncommon to get serenaded by the flight attendants on a Southwest Airlines flight.

You know, often when we have found indigenous tribes isolated from the modern world, deep in the jungles in some unexplored part of our planet, we find them to be especially happy and playful, in other words, very spirited. So, a playful spirit is actually a natural, God-given part of being a human being.

I want to encourage all people to make a concerted, intentional effort to make spirit part of your life. Be spirited. Intentionally, make spirit part of your work environment. We beat each other down for a lot of things, and I don’t like it. But, I would not mind us beating up people, metaphorically, who destroy people’s spirit. We need to bring spirit back to the forefront in our society, into our work environments, into our homes and throughout our lives.

We Got Spirit, Yes We Do, We Got Spirit, How Bout You?

I think I have heard a comedian talk about a toddler threatening to run away, and walking out the door, and him asking the toddler, “What’s your plan? I don’t think you’ve thought this thing through very thoroughly.”

There is a study that is often cited about a Class of Yale graduates, and that only a certain percent of the class had a plan when they graduated, and an even smaller percent had written their plan down. Years later, it is said that the portion of the class that wrote their plan down, even though it was a tiny percent of the class, had more wealth than the rest of the class combined. I am not 100% certain that that story is true, or whether it has become an old tale that has been repeated over generations. It does not really matter if it is. It merely serves as a story to illustrate the value of writing our plans down.

I will acknowledge that everyone is not in a position to have a rigid life plan, written in stone upon graduation. I also deal in business strategy, and there are business books that tout companies who are able to narrow down their focus to 1 key metric. And, those that do outperform the vast majority of other companies. The suggestion and insinuation for all other businesses is that if all the other businesses would just figure out what that one metric was for them, then they could also outperform all other companies who had not employed that discipline. However, that belief fails to recognize that perhaps not all businesses are conducive to being able to narrow down their business to a single metric. So, your strategic advice is bunk, and not universally applicable. Maybe it only applies in certain situations. Likewise, some people are better positioned to have a written plan than others.

Let’s illustrate why that may be. A successful burn center surgeon has a son who is the spitting image of himself. He has clearly inherited his father’s genes. He has his father’s intelligence. He has his father’s mechanical and biological intuition. When he accompanied his father to work, even at a young age, he was fascinated by what his father did, and could not wait to one day follow in his father’s footsteps to be a burn surgeon, just like his dad. So, he also adopted and had a strong affinity for his father’s career interests. It would be very easy for this young man to draft a written plan for his career. And, in fact, armed with his father’s experience, he could be well-positioned to take the practice to a whole new level of success.

A young woman is attending college and majoring in business. Her plan after college is to work in her family’s business for a few years. Then, she wants to get her law degree and her MBA. Afterward, she plans to work in a corporate law firm for a few years, before returning to the family business. She expects to one day lead the family business.

As you can see, in both of these examples, these people are well-positioned to have a well-defined written plan. And, the financial outcomes of their plans are both potentially very promising. However, even those among us for whom the path is not as clear, IF career ambitions are important to you, writing your plan down is still important. Your plan may just be a little more interactive. If this, then that.

One of my sons is planning to go to Medical School, for example, but he has no real way of knowing, as a college Freshman, where he will go to medical school. So, his plan may have Medical School, and a list of potential schools where he may want to go, IF he gets accepted. Then, he will have a choice, or choices, of specialty, where he wants to live, and so on. He will have so many cascading possibilities, for him, that it is especially important for him to write it down.

Likewise, in most of our lives, we will have a cascade of events that will influence our lives and out ultimate career destination. Each of us has different aspirations, goals and values. We will encounter opportunities and obstacles. So, my advice to anyone who is serious about their career is to “write it down”.

My son and I have been discussing this, together, for a while, so we agreed to both publish the concept on each of our websites. His will be under www.USHeadache.org.

Lessons gleaned from the Patient Provider Paradox (TM) can be applied to many relationships where there is an “Expert” or professional advisor and a client (aka customer). This could also be called the Expert Paradox(TM) or the Advisor Paradox(TM). So, what is a paradox and what is so paradoxical, here? A paradox in this situation is that there are contradictory features and qualities in the relationship between the patient and the provider, or the expert and the client or advisor and client, or even an advisor and person receiving the advice. So, this can apply to many situations, even a family member with your absolute best interest at heart. In no way is this article suggesting that the providers, experts, advisors do not have your best interest in mind. It is merely to point out the asymmetry in the relationship, and how you need to keep that in mind.

Perhaps an illustration is in order. You go to the doctor. For whatever period of time you have experienced the condition that you are now seeing the doctor about. you have felt every aspect of it, lived it first-hand, and in real-time. Perhaps, that has been for the past 3 days, or perhaps it has been for the past 30 years. Now, the doctor walks into the room. He will spend 5-15 minutes with you, sometimes longer, but a short time, nonetheless. You are going to do your best to articulate what you have been experiencing for the past 3 days or 30 years in the few minutes that you have with the doctor. And, the doctor, is going to diagnose you. You have all the information. You have done your best to confer that to him or her. But, you have an abundance of time with the condition, and an abundance of time to research the condition. The research factor can be a double-edged sword, but it can be a more important factor in the Internet Age.

The Provider has the expertise. But, they only have a tiny amount of time to listen to you and think about you. So, you already have the makings of a paradox. However, on top of all that, he or she decides your diagnosis, determines your treatment and moves on to the next patient. If they got it all right, then that is great. If they did not get it right, it won’t make that big of a difference in their day. However, for you, the patient, if they get it right, that is wonderful, perhaps, at times, even life-changing. But, if they get it wrong, that can mean a range of repercussions. It can mean you will continue to be ill. It can mean a repeat trip to the doctor. It can mean years of confusion as to why you are not getting better. Or, it could lead to utter devastation.

OK. So what? We’ve just dissected some unique features about the relationship between healthcare providers and patients. There is nothing we can really do about that, right? The answer is yes and no. That is the nature of the relationship. However, being aware of these dynamics, both patients and providers can help protect patients from traps that they might fall into, if they were otherwise unaware.

I will share a personal example to illustrate. I have been a Chronic Migrainer (my preferred way to spell it) for at least 30 years. Early on, I was misdiagnosed multiple times by multiple providers, both military and civilian. I carried the information that those providers told me, as if they were true for years, even as they appeared to conflict with my personal observations. In the military, I was told that I was not drinking enough water. So, over years I was drinking so much water that I felt bloated and miserable. As I looked around at my fellow soldiers, I noticed that I was drinking way more water than anyone else. My first thought was not, “I have been misdiagnosed.” Instead, I thought, “I must need a lot more water than other people.” 🙂 There were many other little things along the way that appeared to conflict with my the diagnosis that I had not been drinking enough water. I carried that misinformation with me for years, and it delayed me from seeking and getting a correct diagnosis. Had I not attended a “lunch and learn” about Migraine in early 2002, where I self-diagnosed during the doctor’s presentation, it is unclear how long I would have carried the misdiagnosis and misinformation with me, or when I would have finally gotten a correct diagnosis.

What can we glean from my situation? First, I want to point out the obvious. The only person who was paying a price for the times that I was misdiagnosed was me. None of the military nor civilian providers who misdiagnosed me ever incurred any discomfort for my misdiagnosis. So, we have asymmetry of outcome or asymmetry of impact. I suffered long-term repercussions from those misdiagnoses. Second, I carried the incorrect information that they told me as truth for many years. That was like getting bad directions on a long journey in unfamiliar territory. How long and how far do you go, before you realize you received bad directions? You can be way off course by the time you finally figure that out, especially when the original directions were from a trusted source, a medical provider.

So, through the cycle of the relationship, you have this paradox, because you, the patient, have lived with the condition. You are living with the condition. And, you will have to live with the outcome of your treatment after treatment decisions are made and treatment is administered to you. The provider has not had the condition, does not have the condition and does not have to live with the treatment decisions applied to you, hence, the paradox. Even if they have the same condition as you, they don’t have your condition. Only you have your condition.

Likewise, we have similar relationships with other experts and advisors. We often treat them with similar deference. I am not suggesting that we should not exercise deference to experts in certain fields, from whom we seek their advice and assistance, lawyers, brokers, pastors and the like. However, we should not subordinate our own judgement, nor set our own judgement aside. A truly excellent provider or expert advisor will educate you in their area of expertise, as it relates to your issue, and encourage you to participate in the decision-making process with them. In partnering with you in that way, when you encounter conflicting information, you should revisit the decisions made and consider revisiting the expert with that information, if necessary, especially for something as serious as a persistent medical concern.

I want to close with one final thought. One thing that I have noticed during the Covid-19 Pandemic is that people will say, “Just do what the experts say.” However, even with public policy matters and for us as individuals, I would, once again, recommend against subordinating your own judgement to the so-called experts. Certainly, they have provided some broad structural knowledge that has been helpful, and was spot-on accurate. The need to “Flatten the Curve” was spot-on correct. Social Distancing, bingo! They got that right, too. However, recommending we not wear masks was a mistake that any engineer could tell was a mistake. Any filtration is better than no filtration, whether you have N95 or something less.

At Pathfinders Foundation, we always encourage people to think for themselves. When we practice thinking, over time, we get better and better at it. Using experts, even doctors, is no different. Most good, quality doctors welcome patients who are thoughtful about your relationship with them and understand the pressure that they are under to diagnose you in just a few minutes with just a handful of clues. You can help that process by being thoughtful, by doing research ahead of time and being prepared to make your time together as productive and effective as feasible. Your relationship with healthcare providers and other expert advisors should be that of a partnership, and not treated as merely transactional. They are not there for you to dump all your symptoms in their lap, and barf up a diagnosis and prescription, on cue. Your life is too important to treat these relationships that way. If you approach these relationships the way I have discussed here, I believe it will position you to get the best outcomes for you, and avoid, to the extent feasible, serious pitfalls in the process.

Most of us do not want to be alone.  Though there are those who prefer to live in isolation, as we sometimes see on reality shows in Alaska.  But, even there, the vast majority of people want and need companionship, though they may love the isolation and adventure of the wilderness over city crowds.  So, we all, at least most of us, like one another’s company.  Unfortunately, many of us, and perhaps most of us, are dependent upon being surrounded by friends at all times, or we are not happy.  In fact, the idea of being friendless, of being rejected by friends, is downright depressing, and I mean that in the literal sense of depression.  Being able to make friends and having a wide “network” (as they like to say in professional circles) of friends, is a great strength.  And, as we go forward, please don’t lose sight of that.  Some people’s greatest strength is their ability to attract friends, and they become very successful with this important strength.

However, there is another side to the nickle, to use a metaphor, and it is a side that can hold you back and can, at times, be downright destructive to people’s lives.

It Depends (on what you are trying to accomplish)  For starters, the process you have to follow to “get things done” depends on exactly what you are trying to accomplish.  There are various levels of innovation involved, depending on your endeavor.  For example, if you are a new real estate agent, then, most often, you are not trying to reinvent the real estate business.  You are just trying to be a successful real estate agent.  So, you would be well-advised to follow well-established practices in your field for being a successful real estate agent.  The same is true for many sales roles.  There are well-established processes for getting clients and making sales.  You need to have laser-like focus on following those processes and becoming especially skilled at them.  However, if you are more of an innovator, and you need to make sure you are, in fact, a true innovator and not just a dreamer, then, you would follow a different process altogether.  In the sales example, I call those more execution entrepreneurs, and in the latter, I call those more innovators.  Neither is better than the other, they are just different.  They usually involve different personality types, and they definitely follow different paths to their ultimate success.  So, before you line out how you are going to get things done, you need to think through whether you fall into one of these 2 categories or whether you fall somewhere in between.

Envisioning:  Deciding on what you are trying to accomplish or what category of entrepreneur you are or what category your initiative falls in is the beginning of a process of envisioning.  This is the gestation period for your baby.  And, I’ll tell you, you do not want to birth the baby pre-maturely.  The more you can define your vision, the more likely your success.

Planning:  There is an old saying, “We don’t plan to fail.  We fail to plan.”  For those of us who have heard this a million times over, it is a bit annoying.  However, though I am not a big fan of relying heavily upon euphemisms, as you may know, you also know that many euphemisms do serve a purpose.  And, in this case, this little saying helps us keep the importance of planning, top-of-mind.  

Execution:  

Time and Task Management:  I often hear people say that they don’t have time.  I understand that.  I often feel that way, myself.  The reality is that we all have the exact same 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, 744 hours per 31-day month, 720 hours per 30-day month and even 672 hours in the 28-day month of February (696 in Leap Years).  I am empathic to those who have extreme work obligations, extreme childcare obligations and those who lose time, due to health issues. There are legitimate issues that limit one person’s available time versus their peers, hopefully, just for a season of life.  However, somehow, somewhere, someone, even someone in similar circumstances to you, will manage to find the time in their already over-booked schedule to accomplish things that you think are impossible for yourself.  The difference, often, is how well they “manage” their time.

So, let’s go back to the planning paragraph.  We don’t plan to fail, but we fail to plan.  How many of us “plan” our “time”?  We all have the same 168 hours each week.  Are you planning those 168 hours?  At the bottom of this article, I am attaching a template, with which you can begin planning your weekly time.  You may say, “I have to work.  I don’t have control over whether I go to work every day.”  That’s true.  You block that time on your calendar, so you see what you already have obligated, and what time you can begin allocating to your new initiative, or whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish that you currently don’t have time to get done. 

I have used this with my children for years.  From the beginning, I approached it with the view that I don’t need them to master this, today, this week, this year.  I just want to expose them to it, the idea of time management, the number of hours available in a week, and how they can block out hours for certain activities. However, I don’t need a child or teen to be a master of time management, though if they do pick it up quickly and easily, then that is great.  I always approach this skill with a high degree of patience. Like anything, for most of us, it will require time and practice to cultivate, advance and master this habit and skill. With my children, I have approached it with the idea that if they master it by the time they turn 18, that is a great outcome.  If one masters time management by the time they are 30 or 40 or 50, that is still better than never mastering or having any discipline with time management.  In fact, as I am writing this article, my daughter is Christmas shopping, and my son is enjoying a Starbucks, right next to me, while we wait for her to finish her shopping.  If you use this template, and begin mastering time management, you need to approach it, giving yourself the same patience that you might give a child trying to learn a new skill.  Don’t become frustrated. Don’t give up too quickly, if it does not come naturally right away.